“I just wish you would express your feelings more,” your girlfriend says. “I never know what you’re thinking.” You drink your drink. If only your girlfriend knew what you were thinking. Your thoughts are so brutal and true that they would scare her witless. She would die. And even through the buffer of this short story, female readers are probably becoming barren just by encountering the power of your thoughts, right at this minute, right now.
…ha. haha. hahahahahaha.
Here’s a post guaranteed to make an MFA student laugh, though only in a very nervous, shifty-eyed way.